he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
