What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize