hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
