do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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