sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize