so explain again why im purple
no
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
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