I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
