you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
