Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I currently don't understand fingers.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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