Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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