Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
