who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
