i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
