I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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