either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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