Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
