Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
