I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
