im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
