Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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