And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
