I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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