barbara walters just said penis...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Randomize
