Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize