That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
