I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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