i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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