he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
