Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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