hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
