Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
