You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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