Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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