Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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