I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Randomize