She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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