so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
No more Irish car bombs ever.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
