Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
