I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
