come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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