Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize