And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
