mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Plan B is the new Plan A
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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