Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
