Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
