i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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