Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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