The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
