Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Randomize