so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
