This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
