piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
