Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
