i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
