:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize