Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
