i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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