I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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